No More Wasted Time

Lost and found...

it's been a long time since i did anything here...

a lot of things happened to me. i got lost. it was a path i let myself go down, and ultimately i have no one to blame but myself. but i did go down that path, and while i'm still trying to find my way back, i'm closer now than i was 6 and 12 and 18 and 24 month ago.

i don't know how i found myself on that path, but it was a journey i never wanted to take. yet, i found myself going down a road i knew i shouldn't be going down. even worse, i couldn't seem to stop myself.

and then, on top of all that, it was a place of darkness, and any light manufactured was just artificial, and not real. yet, i plunged into the darkness, stumbling my way through, and not even realizing where i was going, why i was taking this trip, or, honestly, that i was even doing it.

i stopped doing all the things i loved, all the things i enjoyed. things like writing, or watching sports with friends. or...other things too....and people i loved? they weren't on me on this journey, and...i forgot about them,,,

as i find my way back home, most of my recollections of the depths of my journey are hazy. the light i now see seems natural and real, but looking back, it seems almost like i watched someone else make the trip, and that it wasn't me who descended lower, and lower, and lower, into the depths.

but, i know it was me.

i know, because i paid a heavy toll on that road. a heavy, heavy, toll.

posted by Tree @ 10:18 PM